Caleb Walker

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Review: Last week we looked at how Peter addressed these suffering believers as “Beloved.” They were sojourners who needed to focus on eternity, not just the sufferings of the here and now. The way we honor leadership in our lives is a way we honor God, unless it goes against Scripture; at which point we should take a different course of action.

Title: Our Relationships

Text: I Peter 3:1-12, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, ² when they see your respectful and pure conduct. ³ Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— ⁴ but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. ⁵ For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, ⁶ as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

⁷ Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you^[a] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

⁸ Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. ⁹ Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.¹⁰ For

‘Whoever desires to love life
    and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
    and his lips from speaking deceit;
¹¹ let him turn away from evil and do good;
    let him seek peace and pursue it.
¹² For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
    and his ears are open to their prayer.
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

Memory Verse: I Peter 3:8-9, “⁸ Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. ⁹ Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.”

Theme: Believers live out their faith in the context of relationships.

Introduction: In this week’s lesson we see that fellowship-filled Christian relationships require a mutual submission. In the context of Peter’s day, wives were socially more vulnerable and physically weaker; husbands were called to honor their wives as equals in God’s kingdom and partners in His work. This week I have been away all week with our Memphis Mission team serving with Send Relief in Memphis. I couldn’t do this work without my wife and the good work she is doing in both her job while taking care of our littles. I am blessed and indebted to her all the time and in those specific ways this week, for sure.

     In wife and husband relationships, and in relationships in the body of Christ, the way we reflect and show Christ to others is so important. We are called to reflect Christ to one another and to the world. Sometimes to do this well it will mean resolving conflicts for the greater purposes, the greater and higher mission we are  all called to: the good of others/human flourishing and God’s glory.

Discussion: What are some reasons you get frustrated with some people?

Context: Peter continues the thought of conducting ourselves in holiness in chapter 3. Peter’s audience is believed to have Christian women married to unconverted men in his address in six of these verses. In verse 7 women and men are called coheirs. I love this description in Scripture. If I think in this way—that this person is a coheir in the eternal, new, forthcoming kingdom of God—it will have an immense impact on the way I treat this person. As in the Grden of Eden there is a husband and wife teamwork, partnership, equality to be lived out. Peter is helpfully warning us that watching one’s behavior will befit the gospel message we share. It’s important that we pause and take some time to evaluate our own lives in this regard.

1. Wives (I Peter 3:1-6)

Text: “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, ² when they see your respectful and pure conduct. ³ Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— ⁴ but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. ⁵ For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, ⁶ as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”

• When he says, “Likewise,” he’s building on the same theme as before.
• The word “submit” is used here, and let’s see what the context and Greek mean so that we understand the meaning. This isn’t an overbearing usage, as has been used wrongly by others. The individual is in a vulnerable place; meaning lack of position, lack of influence.  A Christian woman married to an unbelieving husband back in Peter’s day had less power. Peter called them to voluntary submission for the purpose of winning the unbelieving husband to Christ. The submission of wives to husbands reflects the submission of the church to Jesus (Ephesians 5:22-24).
• Rather than focusing so much on talking, Peter elevated the power of observed, transformed behavior in witnessing.
• This attitude is a beautiful thing because to focused on the internal character, not the outward. There is a caution here to not neglect spiritual growth for outward appearance. God focuses on the heart, as I Samuel 16:7 echoes, “⁷ But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’” Peter references holy women of the Old Testament, specifically Sarah. They say, “In other words, wives should pursue submission not because their husbands deserve it, but because it reflects the character of God to their husbands. In His sovereign plan, God specifically placed them in that role for His glory and their good—and the good of their spouses” (p. 58).

Discussion: Why do you think Peter chose Sarah out of the holy women in the past who put their hope in God as the best example?

II. Husbands (I Peter 3:7)

^“7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with youof the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

• The word used here for man is the same used in Matthew 7:24-27 “aner” referring to any man and can also distinguish adult men from boys. The context refers to men with their wives.
• The apostle is now transitioning to the responsibility of husbands to their wives. They are to reflect the loving care and faithful commitment of Christ to them.
• Husbands are to respect their wives as coheirs of the grace of life. Gender may mean some things when it pertains to things on earth but means nothing when it comes to receiving salvation. Women and men will share equally in the kingdom.
• Galatians 3:28, “²⁸ There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave^[a] nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Key Doctrine: The Family

Lifeway says, “The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God’s image.

Genesis 1:26-28, “²⁶ Then God said, “Let us make man^[a] in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

²⁷ So God created man in his own image,
    in the image of God he created him;
    male and female he created them.

²⁸ And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.’”

Matthew 19:3-9, “³ And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” ⁴ He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, ⁵ and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? ⁶ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” ⁷ They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” ⁸ He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. ⁹ And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

• We need to heed these instructions and not allow egotism or selfishness to hinder our prayers.

Discussion: Why are husbands called to honor their wives? How can a husband do that in practical ways?

III. All Believers (I Peter 3:8-12)

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. ⁹ Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.¹⁰ For

‘Whoever desires to love life
    and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
    and his lips from speaking deceit;
¹¹ let him turn away from evil and do good;
    let him seek peace and pursue it.
¹² For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
    and his ears are open to their prayer.
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”When he says, “…have unity of mind, sympathy…” The CSB uses the wording, “like-minded and sympathetic, and the quote Lifeway gives on this section is excellent. They say, “Peter identified five primary descriptions of how believers should act toward one another. The Greek compound word translated like-minded comes from two words meaning “same” and “inner outlook.” This suggests that believers who share a moral compass internally will act in harmony externally. Striving to become like-minded highlights the dangers of division in the church.

     It is easier to practice unity where sympathetic feelings abound. While like-mindedness focuses on the shared mind, sympathy deals with a shared heart. The Greek wording suggests mutual suffering [and mutual] joy. It is hard to focus on points of contention when one is focused on understanding the needs and lives of others” (p. 62).

• The second part of this verse reads, “…brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” The familial love here shows itself in compassion and humility. Humility would have been culturally seen as a negative character trait by common opinion. But Jesus calls us to be countercultural.
• The is a method used here by Peter called chiasm, where words parallel one another: like-minded and humble parallel sympathy and compassion.
• In verses 21-23 Peter—leaning into Isaiah 53 where we see the gospel of Jesus in His suffering displayed—highlights the example of Jesus in how he responded to His persecutors with praying a blessing on them. Verse 8 focuses on relationships with other believers, and verse 9 focuses our attention on our relationships with our persecutors.
• Peter cites Psalm 34:12-16, where the Psalmist reminds the reader that the Lord rescues His people when they suffer. While His people suffer the Lord expects us to live in patient waiting and righteousness, knowing He sees us and He hears our cries. We can trust Him to bring justice in His way and in His timing. His eschatological theology/his understanding of end times shaped his understanding of how to live in the here and now.

Discussion: How should we respond when others do not treat us well?

Devotional: “How to Have Gospel-Shaped Relationships”

     The most ardent introvert, recluse in the world still can’t avoid the reality that God made them in His image and—as such—that person was made for relationships. Each of us value and need relationships that we can invest in and be invested by and enjoy whether we admit it or not. God knows this, as he is our Creator, of course. He designed us for relationships with others, but unfortunately due to sin our relationships will veer toward brokenness apart from being restored and reconciled to the One Key Relationship that impacts all other relationships, our relationship with God through God, the Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. Once we repent and return to this relationship, we can then begin seeing Him control and guide and bless all other relationships.

     The highest priority in our relationships is that we reflect Christ when there is relational harmony or challenge, that we deflect glory to Christ when we would be tempted to cause disunity by pride, and that we exalt Christ in all of our relationships seeking to make Him known to others. There is a very real sense that to be a true friend to those we share life with, we must first and foremost have a desire for their salvation. This means that we pray intentionally for their salvation. This means we invest intentionally in their salvation through care caring, sharing, and inviting them to be a part of God’s family. This means we live out a transformed life before them so that they are drawn to Christ, not just by our words but by our deeds, as well. In these ways we will truly have gospel-shaped relationships.